Santa Is a Canadian Citizen: UPDATE 2013

We told them last year.
Santa is a Canadian citizen! Santa Is Canadian
We warned them then:  Don’t you dare insist Santa is a “US person!.”  Well, the Americans are at it again.
Another Conservative MP and Parliamentary Secretary to the Prime Minister confirmed in the House of Commons last week that Santa is Canadian. Yet, the USA is trying to nail him as theirs.
They’re Baaack! For the holiday season, the Americans are once again insisting the“real” Santa lives in the US. Don’t they know his suit is red and white–not red white and blue?
They probably  issue Santa a Green Card every December to add Christmas color to his all-Canadian suit. Or, maybe they just let him hang out in Alaska so they can impose “substantial presence” on Santa.
US Treasury and IRS are sneaky. They do that so when Santa returns to his real home at the North Pole in Canada with his Canadian HOH OHO postal code, they can nab him as a “US person” and FATCA (Foreign Account Toy Compliance Act) the jolly fellow.
If there is any question about Santa’s citizenship, the fact Canadian Conservatives and Liberals actually agree on that point should prove it. . Liberal leader Justin Trudeau even made a public declaration on television.  Look at what the goodwill of the holiday season can accomplish!
So, will Canadian Finance Minister Jim Flaherty ensure Santa and all other Canadian citizens are protected from IRS and FATCA under Canada’ banking, privacy and human rights laws? Or, will Santa have to join other Canadians in a challenge under Canada’s Charter of Rights and Freedoms?
So far, Minister Flaherty hasn’t responded to our Christmas letter to him.
It’s hard to believe this still is dragging on.
Below is what we said last year:
USA, don’t you dare declare Santa a “US person!”
Santa is a Canadian Citizen.  This has been confirmed once again by Canada’s Minister of Citizenship and Immigration, Jason Kenney.
Just like Prime Minister Stephen Harper and many of us, Santa is “Canadian and only Canadian.”  But, unlike other Canadians, Santa doesn’t even need a passport to travel the world.
No countries charge Santa duty on toys he imports, but we fear USA may FATCA (Foreign Account Toy Compliance Act) Santa because of his immense stash of toys housed at Santa’s home in North Pole Canada HOH OHO
Yet, Mr. Kenney insists Canada has jurisdiction over the North Pole and Canadian sovereignty:

“We want to ensure that Santa, and all Canadians, benefit from the potential of the North, making it a prosperous and secure region within a strong and sovereign Canada.”

Mr. Kenney,  please protect all Canadians along with Santa, no matter where we were born!
Boys and girls around the world will be thrilled to know Transport Canada Has Cleared Santa to once again make his annual journey.  Santa passed his physical examination–although some of the elves were worried because of Santa’s love of cookies and candies. But Santa’s morning jogs around  around the North Pole saved him.
Santa, we’re counting on you to defeat the IRS Grinch who wants to steal our Christmas and our lives.  Because USA has been very naughty this year, Lump of Coalplease give them a lump of coal in their stocking and the rest of us a red and white gaily wrapped package of freedom from US financial tyranny.
Safe Journey, Santa!  Personnel at Nunavut’s Alert Airport will run the control tower lights throughout Christmas to guide you southward on your departure and northward on your return to Canada.
It’s even OK if you eat too many cookies.  Your next physical exam with Transport Canada isn’t for another year. But, don’t tell IRS. They may make you file a FCAR (Foreign Cookie Account Report)–or charge you huge penalties if you don’t.
Merry Christmas!  Joyeux Noel!

5 thoughts on “Santa Is a Canadian Citizen: UPDATE 2013

  1. @Saddened: Happy Holidays to You Too. When will you change your name now that you have relinquished?
    @Jim Flaherty: It’s Christmas Eve morning and still no response from you. So a lump of coal in your stocking from Maple Sandbox.

  2. @Blaze,
    Thanks so much for all the anti-FATCA work you do! You are an inspiration and source of hope to everyone worried about what comes next.
    Merry Christmas! Please try not to think about FATCA for awhile!

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