Santa Is A Canadian Citizen: Update 2013

We told them last year.
Santa is a Canadian citizen. Santa Is Canadian
We warned them then:  Don’t you dare insist Santa is a “US person.”  Well, the Americans are at it again.
Another Conservative MP and Parliamentary Secretary to the Prime Minister confirmed in the House of Commons last week that Santa is Canadian. Yet, the USA is trying to nail him as theirs.
They’re Baaack! For the holiday season, the Americans are once again insisting Santa lives in the US. Don’t they know his suit is red and white–not red white and blue?
They probably  issue Santa a Green Card every December to add Christmas color to his all-Canadian suit. Or, maybe they just let him hang out in Alaska so they can impose “substantial presence” on Santa.
US Treasury and IRS are sneaky. They do that so when Santa returns to his real home at the North Pole in Canada with his Canadian HOH OHO postal code, they can nab him as a “US person” and FATCA (Foreign Account Toy Compliance Act) the jolly fellow.
If there is any question about Santa’s citizenship, the fact Canadian Conservatives and Liberals actually agree on that point should prove it. . Liberal leader Justin Trudeau even made a public declaration on television.  Look at what the goodwill of the holiday season can accomplish!
So, will Canadian Finance Minister Jim Flaherty ensure Santa and all other Canadian citizens are protected from IRS and FATCA under Canada’ banking, privacy and human rights laws? Or, will Santa have to join other Canadians in a challenge under Canada’s Charter of Rights and Freedoms?
Below is what we said last year about Santa’s Canadian citizenship.  citizenship. It’s incredible that it is still dragging on a year later.
USA, don’t you dare declare Santa a “US person!”
Santa is a Canadian Citizen.  This has been confirmed once again by Canada’s Minister of Citizenship and Immigration, Jason Kenney.
Just like Prime Minister Stephen Harper and many of us, Santa is “Canadian and only Canadian.”  But, unlike other Canadians, Santa doesn’t even need a passport to travel the world.
No countries charge Santa duty on toys he imports, but we fear USA may FATCA (Foreign Account Toy Compliance Act) Santa because of his immense stash of toys housed at Santa’s home in North Pole Canada HOH OHO
Yet, Mr. Kenney insists Canada has jurisdiction over the North Pole and Canadian sovereignty:

“We want to ensure that Santa, and all Canadians, benefit from the potential of the North, making it a prosperous and secure region within a strong and sovereign Canada.”

Mr. Kenney,  please protect all Canadians along with Santa, no matter where we were born!
Boys and girls around the world will be thrilled to know Transport Canada Has Cleared Santa to once again make his annual journey.  Santa passed his physical examination–although some of the elves were worried because of Santa’s love of cookies and candies. But Santa’s morning jogs around  around the North Pole saved him.
Santa, we’re counting on you to defeat the IRS Grinch who wants to steal our Christmas and our lives.  Because USA has been very naughty this year, Lump of Coalplease give them a lump of coal in their stocking and the rest of us a red and white gaily wrapped package of freedom from US financial tyranny.
Safe Journey, Santa!  Personnel at Nunavut’s Alert Airport will run the control tower lights throughout Christmas to guide you southward on your departure and northward on your return to Canada.
It’s even OK if you eat too many cookies.  Your next physical exam with Transport Canada isn’t for another year. But, don’t tell IRS. They may make you file a FCAR (Foreign Cookie Account Report)–or charge you huge penalties if you don’t.
Merry Christmas!  Joyeux Noel!

8 thoughts on “Santa Is A Canadian Citizen: Update 2013

  1. Great post, Blaze! Happy Holidays to you, Outraged and everyone who posts here. I echo your gift wishes from Santa, both the wish for the IRS and the wish for everyone else.
    Alas the US may try to make a citizenship claim on Santa too, since Santa’s North Pole residence has a sliver of US territoriality due to the extension of the Alaska border claim. However, Canada’s slice of the radial around the pole is bigger than Alaska’s. Further alas, the Russians have an even better claim than either the US or Canada on those grounds … I guess there needs to be the UN equivalent of a Royal Commission to settle the dispute. But maybe someone should ask Santa. If he had to pick a single nationality, which do you think he’d pick? Russia, under Putin? Canada (oops, under Harper, but still the rest of us are pretty palatable I’d say). The US, where he risks being mowed down in a burst of semi-automatic gunfire, either in “self defense” or the exercizing of every American’s “rights” under the second amendment, as he drops down the chimney of about 34% of American homes (last stat I’ve seen in today’s Globe and Mail re percent of US households reporting gun ownership, vs 6% in Canada and probably as close to 0% in Russia as doesn’t matter). My betting would be on Canada, all things considered! Though maybe he’s a secret Norwegian (they share part of the North Pole too, I think).

  2. Without question, Santa chooses Canada!
    When Jason Kenney declared Santa a Canadian citizen in 2008, he used undeniable criteria: Santa’s address is known to children around the world as Santa Claus, North Pole Canada HOH OHO. Every year, Santa replies to those letters from North Pole Canada helped by special Canada Post elves.
    Plus, Santa dresses only in Canada’s colours: red and white–and not the colours of any of the other countries trying to hog Canada’s right to the North Pole.
    In fact, these criteria were so convincing The Kremlin did not even reply to Canada’s claims in 2008 of Santa as a Canadian.
    IRS also did not claim jurisdiction over Santa at the time.
    Just two years ago, on December 22, 2010, Santa himself reaffirmed his Canadian citizenship in a citizenship ceremony with 100 people from 32 countries. So, how can anyone, including US, consider Santa anything other than Canadian?!!
    Compare that to the photo below about how Santa reacted to news IRS now wants to declare him a “US person” because of his “substantial presence” in US once a year.
    Don’t worry Santa, Canada’s fighter pilots will look after you. Could you ask Canada to protect the rest of its citizens?

  3. @Just Me: That’s the same MaryMac who accused me of being a Twitter Troll because she didn’t like my comments about Mitt Romney’s Cayman Island money.
    You can pass on this information to MaryMac about when Santa was declared to be a Canadian citizenship. (I would do it myself except she would probably tell me to get off her private Tweet line. She likes you better than she does me!)
    Canada’s Citizenship and Immigration Minister shored up Canada’s claim to the North Pole when he declared Santa a Canadian citizen because of Santa’s Canadian address, his red and white suit and the fact NORAD has tracked Santa’s journey as beginning and ending in Canada for over 60 years.
    The Kremlin, White House and Norway’s Storting all failed to respond to those irrefutable facts.
    Therefore, Santa Claus and the North Pole are definitely Canadian!
    Santa’s home at the North Pole predates FATCA, FBAR, or even IRS. So hands off USA!

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